Avoid the Ugly Place

Leaves are falling from the trees and the long dreaded Winter isn’t far away.  I took a quick afternoon ride over to Skaneateles to drop off some gifts for my photo subjects from the Fall Workshop.   On the way back, I picked up a pumpkin at a roadside vendor; I immediately asked myself what the heck happened to Summer.

Central New York winters have been a frequent topic of discussion since I started my grad program back in July.   I have been warned to watch out for a change in attitude and mood as I make my way through the program.  Second-guessing why I have chosen to put myself through this growing process might lurk around the corner, I am told.   Yesterday was one of those days as I struggled setting up my next photo project.

A man running a hospice didn’t want to put his guests in a compromising position.  The health department said clinical environments were basically off limits.  A monastery refused access while commenting on the fact that Oprah Magazine had just interviewed them.

Somehow I started going to that ugly place – Why am I doing this?   Am I strong enough to take on these new skills and improve my career?  Will my photography improve?  How will I maintain my inspiration and motivation?   Not a very good day…..

Today, I reminded myself how lucky I am to be here and to have this chance to become who I want to be.  I was given a boost of support by an organization willing to help me show my future work in local galleries and in a possible traveling exhibit.   I left that meeting re-charged and eager to produce compeling stories.

The evolution continues…..

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